Saturday, October 14, 2006

Art on the brain

"My God it stinks in here. It stinks of stupid women wondering about Tony. Wondering where he could be, who he is with, what he's thinking, whether he's thinking of you, and whether he'll ever return someday." - Kids in the Hall

art is my tony


No but seriously. I'm AMPED. What happened? I was in a funk for a while, "wondering about Tony, where he could be, who he is with...", and then got sick of being in a funk, and then it went away, and here I am replaced with THIS.... this ZEST and enthusiasm...

Zest... that's a funny word and it's also soap.

No but seriously.

My relationship with painting is changed, changing... To speak in abstract terms about it, I don't feel any reservation right now, there isn't any fear, it's just excitement. I feel like there is finally a purpose emerging that can make me proud. It isn't about me anymore. It was about me for so long... feeling sorry for myself, ultimately. Venting emotion, trapped pain, dismay, confusion, real life experiences for a sensitive youth, and there is nothing WRONG with that. There is/was nothing wrong with those works of art. And maybe what was cathartic for me could be healing for someone else in a similar situation or state of mind. I was/am working through issues of swinging emotions, frozen childhood traumas, and the dynamics of interpersonal relationships - loss, rage, sorrow - sad, and draining emotions. They are part of Life. There is no getting rid of the darkness, nor the light, and duality has always played it's part in the history of art, too...

Life is Art
Art is Life

......I said "it's not about me anymore". That makes me laugh, because isn't every artist self absorbed in a way? I'm no exception, let's be honest here. I guess what I mean is that my art is shifting to a "higher purpose". I'll always allow myself to vent through paint - it is great therapy, no need to deprive myself of it. But I won't be dependent on that restless mood for inspiration.

I'm focusing my intention on creating works that can be healing to the viewer. A reflection of eternity, our dreams, with calming, or stimulating, positive energy. Works that will enlighten and uplift the spirit. I want to focus on what it is that I'm bringing into the world and respect the power of what's possible vs "whatever happens, happens".

............we are all works in progress..........

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