Friday, October 29, 2010

Lucid Dreaming

I'm at my grandparent's farmhouse and the whole family is there, including a bunch of other people and children that I don't know. My husband and cousin are outside playing football with some kids, my aunts are inside busily cleaning and preparing a large meal. I find myself bonding and playing with a child that looks like my best friend's son, only she's a girl. I love this little girl. I want to go outside but my aunt stops me and wants me to sweep the porch. I act like a baby about it, "but I wanted to go outside!" and she lets me. (I can be pretty stubborn and hot headed in my dreams). Once outside, a little mean boy pours water over my mother's head. She stands up and it has somehow affected her leg brace. I'm so angry at this kid I want to smash him to the ground. I help my mother up and lead her into the house.

Then I'm standing in the porch looking out. A great rumbling in the distance gets closer and closer like a hurricane of destruction. The otherwise natural surroundings turn more urban and it's like a giant plane or train crash with debris rumbling closer and closer to the windowpane I'm standing in awe in front of. As it comes rushing towards me, I realize I'm just dreaming and challenge myself to keep my eyes open - nothing's going to happen to me. In this moment I am aware, I am lucid, as soon as it hits I once again forget I'm in a dream. "It" - this rumbling pile of gray - hits the house like a tidal wave and then the house feels like it's floating and bobbing on water.

I am lifted up and out of the scene and fly over city streets, parks, people walking and cars. Little shifting clips of scenes from above. The last scene I see is a disturbing funeral group hovering over a casket out in the clear sunny day. It's not really sad, it just sort of... is what it is.

My flying adventure ends at a stairway into a building which I enter. Inside is an art and craft show. I'm dizzy from my "flight" and have to gain my footing before back tracking to the first artisan, I want to visit every booth. She is a kind woman selling silver jewelry with sparkling gems - my favorite kind of jewelry. I pick out a pin and buy it for $8. She says "remember to keep this away from children" and I say I plan on giving it to one of my aunt's that don't have children for Christmas (Jo or Jan if you're reading this, I'm already thinking of presents for you!). She packages it up with a smile and I continue on.

I find myself in a room with antique dealers and I'm carrying a chair on my behind. Yes, as strange as that is, a folding chair is awkwardly being carried along with my purse stuffed with paper work and other random clutter and my new purchase in a bag. It's too much to carry. I ask the vendors if they mind me putting down the chair and one says it's fine, another gives me quite the attitude - "Why do you have a chair with you?" and I snap back, "Because if there's MUSIC or some kind of PERFORMANCE I want to SIT DOWN, OKAY!??" and I've crossed a line, made a spectacle of myself and feel ashamed.

I pick up my chair and exit that room into another that's very cluttered with antiques and some seriously amazing paintings. The artists don't seem to care that their work is strewn everywhere and I find it hard to step around things but I want to take it all in. I put down my things and realize after my little scene in the other room, I somehow managed to pick up one of the antique dealers displays - like a washboard with little nick-nacks on it. Sneakily, I just stick it behind some old chest hoping they find it, too embarrassed to return it myself. The artist looks at me like "oh sure, you'll spend your money on that crap but not on art?" and I tell him I'm an artist too and that I collect plenty of art.

Then my dog woke me up.

I laid in bed for a bit, remembering the artwork I had seen, the images swirling around in my mind and then began to see images that I want to paint. Abstract figurative paintings, big and bold, paintings that say something. That's what's sticking with me and I feel like I have something new to say in painting. After this time away from making art, something has struck me. Inspiration has struck me and now I must take it to heart and do some sketching and planning for new work.

I don't know what the totality of the dream is saying but I thought I'd share it since it was so crystal clear to me when I woke up. (I also find it hilarious what a brat I can be in my dreamstate!). I'm entering the season when my dreams are WILD adventures, sometimes scary, sometimes thrilling. I think on the whole I'm getting better at realizing not to be afraid when danger threatens me. That lucidity clicks in at the key moments and I'm whisked away from danger at the last minute. Like a car headed towards a tree that somehow magically lifts up and off the ground just before the strike. Most importantly though, is seeing art in my dreams. I love when I have art dreams and I wish I could just wake up and paint everything I've seen but already the images are lost to me. What is not lost however, are the images that I "dreamed" when I woke up. These paintings will become a reality. I don't know when, but they will. Stay tuned...

If you like to interpret dreams - have at it! Have you ever had a lucid dreaming experience? Do you ever dream about art?


Martha Marshall said...

Jessica, I love dreams and love hearing others' dream experiences. The only thing I'd say about this one of yours is that it's a way for your muse to get your attention and inspire you. And it seems to have worked!

I guess you could call it lucid dreaming when I have a recurring dream (usually a bit frightening or disturbing) and remind myself in my dream that I've seen this dream before. Then after that, while the dream plays out, it seems I'm just "playing along" and not scared any more. Isn't that a hoot?

Maria-Thérèse ~ said...

eeeeeeeeeek! no, I haven't, or I don't think I have.
I often dream about art and very often about my camera.

Last night I dreamt I was standing by the ocean and I saw some swans and didn't have my camera. Somehow I took the photo with my hand and developed it using sunshine and mascara which I had in my purse (the mascara had come as a gift with a magazine - I like how I added that detail since I never carry mascara normally ;)

I smeared the mascara on my hand, held it up in the sunshine and the photo emerged on top of my hand.

Unknown said...

I like that Martha, I too love dreams and thinking about what they can mean. I can totally relate to what you wrote about recognizing a familiar dream situation and knowing it's nothing to be feared. I think we learn more every time we return to that "scene" whatever it may be.

Maria-Therese what a fun dream! And so creative (not surprising). You McGuivered (or however you spell that) the situation with sunshine and mascara - love it!

Lantz Stephenson said...

Yah, I get lots of visuals just before sleep finally comes...could be long time on some nights. I only wish I could capture what I see in head in my drawings. Best I can do is to back off thinking too much when I draw (LOL you can prob tell from the stuff on studio1135) and let it "flow" -- kind of like automatic writing. Used to do the same with music back in the punk playin daze.