Breakthrough II

Also, you can see the original Breakthrough at HERE on Artwanted.com

I Think It Is Done

As you can see, I got back into the commissioned painting today (see yesterday's post below for a "before" picture). I worked in more translucent layers of color mixed with a glazing medium applied with a dry brush. A lot got scrubbed off with my hands or scratched at with the ends of brushes and my fingers. I'm happy with the more layered effects of color and texture now.

This was an interesting experience, and GREAT first painting to do in the studio. It came with new challenges, and therefore new learned techniques and observations. I've done commissioned paintings based on previous works before but there were differences. For example, one was a large, painted canvas based on an ink drawing. The drawing was translated first onto the canvas, then after that, the painting took on it's own life. Another commission was for two large canvases in the style of one of my paintings called Ribbon Candy. Again, translating to such a huge scale based on an 8" x 10" concept took on it's own life, too. One more story (not to bore you here) was when I recreated Freedom for a commission. That was a drip painting, so there was only the decisions of what colors to mix and where to swipe my wide, wet brush that I had control over.

This time I had a print out of the original painting in front of me and I referred to it the whole way through. At one point I asked myself if this was even what the client wanted, but I knew that she was open to whatever the painting "became" so I went with my gut and kept looking.... and attempting to recreate. By last night I was pretty close to the original but that spark was missing. Today I came in and responded to the painting in front of me more than the printout. I let each space speak for itself - maybe it needed more green, or to merge with the "box" next to it - in each case I let those moments either be or change based on instinct, not what was in the original, which was what needed to happen to make this painting come alive. At least I think so,,, what do you think?

Commission in Progress

Here are some shots of a commissioned painting I've been working on. It's an 18" x 24" version of a smaller painting I made some time ago called Breakthrough. I was hoping to finish it today, but there's still that something that is missing. I want a few more layers of color, a little more texture, a bit more cohesiveness here and there (that yellow needs taming). I will have more pictures tomorrow of the finished piece. Hopefully a little brighter too (today was pretty overcast and rainy - which is a good thing, we've needed rain in this area desperately!).

Thanks for all of the supportive comments from my last post. You all are wonderful friends! :)

Drum Roll, Please....

....the new studio has arrived!! Here it is in our backyard. I'll of course be sharing more pictures soon, but I couldn't wait to share my excitement with everyone. The second day of having it, I slept out in the screened in porch area with Leo (our yellow lab). It's still so warm here in New England. Last year it was a really warm fall/winter, too. As much as we've been having beautiful days, there's still that feeling of "it shouldn't be this warm in October". But I digress...

It's everything I've wanted and more. I can sleep outdoors whenever I want, protected from the elements but surrounded by them at the same time. Leo wasn't happy about it, but he was such a good boy. He paced and couldn't really sleep, being my protector, but he didn't go crazy barking or scratching at the screen (thank goodness - puppy Leo would have destroyed that room in forty five minutes). We live in a small, country town, but there's always that risk. I'm not scared when I have my 110 pound, all muscle doggie best friend and body guard by my side.

That screened in area is just going to have a collapsible, big table and chairs, that can be moved aside for "camping" (the airbed) where we will eat family meals, share evenings with friends and during the day, I can sit and paint watercolors, or do crafts at the table by myself or with my mom, the kids, or anybody.

Now the main attraction (even though I'm so pumped about our "nature room"), is the main studio. The enclosed section will be where I work year round, and right now we're looking into how to best insulate the building before we get an electrician out to connect it to the house. Right now I don't need heat, but winter will be coming soon enough (let's hope) so I've got to make the most of these nice autumn days while they are here....

So, with that, I'm going to go out and play and maybe take some pictures too. :)

Happy painting everyone.

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Oh and by the way, I'll be moving out of my Indian Orchard studio at the end of November, which means I'll be there to catch one last show. This year's winter show is the weekend of November 11th. I will make a bigger announcement when I have more details very soon.

The sun sets over the Pacific

Ok my friends. Vacation September has come to a close and I'm back in business. After a trip to Florida at the beginning of the month, a few weeks of part time working while I visited with friends from out of town, and then the big bang - a wonderful ten day vacation on the west coast with my husband Rob and my best friend Emily. We just got back in town late Tuesday night. What can I say.... it was a blessed vacation, to say the least.

Here's the rundown.

Rob and I flew to LA 9/23 and waited for our connecting flight to San Luis Obispo. We expected a smaller plane, but not a prop plane (which is what we got, and it was my first experience on one). I did a lot of deep breathing and tried to clear my mind of all bad thoughts. I squeezed Rob's hand so hard on take off that I could've popped a pinkie off. But the take off ended up being pretty smooth. The ride up the coast was spectacular. The sun had already gone down, and we flew low over the coastline looking down on clusters of lights. It was beautiful. Then came the landing, which was a whole different story then take off, and I was very thankful for my tightly secured seat belt. Once we got on land I was still shaking but partly with excitement to see my soul sister waiting for us in the teeny tiny airport. The parking lot was smaller than my local Big Y - that says it all.

That first night we stayed in S.L.O. at a hotel. It was only 9 in CA but it felt like midnight to us, so we had a few glasses of wine, chatted it up, then slept off our weary day of traveling. The next morning we drove up the coast to Big Sur. Ten years ago, when I was going to school for a semester exchange at UCSC in Santa Cruz, I had gone as far north as San Fran and as far south as Big Sur. That morning drive covered new ground for me, and Rob was in total awe of the majesty of the California coast. (He jokes that he's never been farther west than New York state). We did a lot of ooing and awing as Emily drove along the wild, twisty turny route 1. That night we stayed in Pfieffer State Park and camped next to the Big Sur river. We spent some time at the beach and had a beautiful dinner at the restaurant at the campground (they also have a lodge - kind of a plush park, if you ask me! I dig it!).

The next day we continued up the coast to Monterey and went to the aquarium. That was a must do on Rob's list and he was like a kid in the candy store. It was adorable, if I do say so myself. :) We all enjoyed it very much. Then we continued up to Santa Cruz where we got a room and went out on the town. So much has changed in ten years, of course. I honestly thought I'd be able to slip right back into the geographical situation of all of my favorite spots - from beaches, to restaurants, to even the campus. Unfortunately, I was lost. But we managed and I got to go to Natural Bridges, which was my favorite beach, and got to cruise through the campus which was more like looking at your fav celebrity after a major face lift - who are you?

The next day was the one day everyone has on a vacation - the "bust" day. We had planned on going to wine country, which was a longer drive away then we thought. Emily had an ear infection that had seemed to disappear, then reappeared with force. I took over the wheel and by the time we got to wine country, everything was closed and we needed to cross over mountains to get to the campground we were hoping we could get into, but being first come first serve and late in the afternoon, we knew our chances were slim. The major first bust in the day was taking a road over the mountains that turned out to be the most dangerous driving I've ever done in my life. It was a one lane (but two way, mind you) twister of a road, slim as a freaking sidewalk, that climbed a mile plus high in the sky. The locals would come out of nowhere in big trucks and I kept telling myself that if I confronted a car, just hit it head on and resist the instinct to turn, because avoiding an accident could easily cause our little rental car to plummet off the side of a cliff. As our elevation kept increasing, my friend was in greater and greater pain. My mom's words from years ago telling me to never fly with a sinus or ear infection because "your eardrum could explode" was on repeat in my head. There was no turning around, just keep going up and up, honking my horn around every blind turn like I was taught in drivers ed oh so many years ago. It seemed like it never ended. Maybe because it was 7 miles long and the most I could go at any point was 20 mph.

The point is, we survived. But once we were in the valley, the focus was on getting Emily to an emergency room because she was in serious pain by this point and very ill. We took her to the ER and I was a nervous nelly waiting for her to come out. When she did, she was like a new person. Without giving you the gory details, they made her feel all better, and we were off to find a hotel for the night. We sorted through the land of the richey rich to find a great affordable room for the night and dinner outside listening to live jazz. Our luck had turned back around.

We enjoyed the next day as real wine country day and yours truly didn't turn down a tasting. Yours truly was an emotional lady around the campfire that night. Yours truly poured herself out of the tent the next day wishing I could be tied to the roof in my sleeping bag. Needless to say, I loved every minute of it.

We drove for most of the day up to Eugene where we stayed overnight and spent the next day thoroughly enjoying the downtown farmer's market/art/craft fair. I met some wonderful artists and added to my collection a bit with a painting by http://www.pegismith.com/ - I love it. I could see myself living in Eugene and loving it.

We continued up and east to the edge of the Cascade Mountains to a place called Breitenbush Hot Springs www.breitenbush.com/ . We got there in time for dinner, a vegetarian meal shared by all guests in the lodge, served cafeteria style. It was Thai night - so good! Then we set up our tent and hung around inside it for a while waiting until late night to go out to the hot springs. They were amazing. Only two very kind women were there to share them and we all had nice conversations soaking in the hot, healing waters. The contrast was sleeping out in our tent on a cold, rainy Oregon night. Fortunately we all had airbeds to sleep on that kept us up and dry out of the two inch puddle underneath us, but there was no shaking the way a cold dampness can settle into your bones and chill you to the core. We loooooovvved the car heater the next morning, all soggy three of us!!

From there we traveled north to Pacific City where we stopped for a yummy warm lunch and a few brews at a brewery right on the majestic beach. We kept going to Cape Lookout where we had a yurt reserved. Now, I have known about these things, being a nature loving New Englander, but I've never seen one in person, let alone slept in one. This is the way to go, man. You get all of the beauty of camping, but at night, you get to sleep on a cot in a heated structure. No worries about bears or mountain lions busting into your tent because you forgot you left a cherry chapstick in your pocket. No worries about waking up in the middle of the night shaking and as deep and tucked into your sleeping bag as possible without asphyxiating yourself. Life is real good in a yurt. I kind of want to buy land now and build a series of yurts to live in - sleeping yurt, kitchen yurt, living area yurt, studio yurt....

As much as I was ready to set up shop in our yurt for another few months, we had an excited lady on our hands, eagerly awaiting her reunion with her boyfriend in Seattle. So we drove up enjoying the spectacular Oregon coast, had lunch in Astoria then continued on to Seattle. It's a beautiful city, from what little I saw. We found Emily's boyfriend Miguel and checked into our little B&B in the Pike Place Market. It was such a funky, laid back, but still very clean and beautiful inn - I loved it, and if anyone needs a recommendation for your next Seattle trip, I say check out Pensione Nichols Bed and Breakfast! After freshening up in our two cute rooms side by side, both couples emerged ready for a night on the town. We walked into the common area and three funky cats were sitting with a guitar case and one funky cat asked "where are you guys going tonight?" and I replied "we don't know?!". Then we were more told than asked (love you funky cats) that we need to go to the Lava Lounge because one of the funky cats (Lana) was going to be playing and they were having a benefit for a really great friend of theirs. Naturally, we said yes and took on our roles of insta-entourage. It could not have been more perfect. We were guided to the hippest spot in town, the music was great, it was for a great cause, and we had a blast. If you want to know more about the amazing music we heard, check out Deering Down - they just released a CD called Break This Record.

We flew out the next morning and so ends my long tale about our trip.

Back to School? Nah - back to the beach!

I am one lucky lady. This Thursday I'm hopping on a plane to go to Florida to go celebrate my high school girlfriend's 30th birthday. Our other two friends are also flying in from NYC and Virginia. We are going to have a blast... soaking in the sun on the beach, catching each other up on what's really going on in all of our lives, and getting silly on frozen rum drinks. Hopefully I'll have a photo to share of us that won't be totally ridiculous (or maybe I'll embarrass us all and put the most ridiculous one up here! hahaha - we'll see). Anyway, that means I'll be away until Monday so I hope everyone has a great weekend!

(PS - Jill, we are going to miss you!! But know that we'll be thinking of you and love you so much!) xoxoxo

To see who in the world you might be

Joni Mitchell's Rainy Night House was playing in my dream last night. It was like a soft speaker was pumping this song into every nook and cranny of every building I was in, every street and alley and frightful forest. Everyone was there - everyone from my life, that is.

I have these reoccuring dreams that really aren't the true definition of reoccuring. If they were, I'd be doing the exact same thing over and over but that isn't the case. It's more like a reoccuring stage and cast - camps/neighborhoods/hotels/schools that all come together to represent every living situation I've ever had - from my mother's womb to college to now. And everyone I've ever known, all hanging out in different rooms together - friends old and new, family, old schoolmates, ex lovers - even my old pets will make an appearance with Leo.

What happens in these dreams? Something different all the time, but in general, I guess I end up working out relationship issues with the people in my past and present. Sometimes this can be very painful.

You came to the party by yourself
Pushing an empty stroller
And you locked yourself in your room
Everyone was talking about you
They didn't like who you had become
I didn't mind, I just wanted to know you again
But I was shut out too.

When I finally broke into your room
I screamed so loud it woke me up
You just stood there

This little thing we got going

....a little backstory....

This past Tuesday night, Rob and I went to Northampton. We didn't roam the whole town, but managed to hit the important spots - the used book store and music store - and dinner that was uber-yummy, of course. Anyway, this bookstore has a fabulous Art section and I swear I could spend sooooooo much money there. I'd love to have a library filled with art books - and books on mysticism, history, anthropology, poetry - oh heck, i just want a library in my house. They had one book that was gorgeous - it came in a protective shell and it was about Miro. It was originally $150 and in perfect condition - $65. Couldn't splurge, but I savored every page my eyes could absorb. Instead, I found an $8 paperback on Helen Frankenthaler's prints from the 60-70's and a little collection of poetry by Sylvia Plath. Intensity Station all aboard! Choo choo!

Raw. Honest. Women that took risks in their Art.

I have been inspired.

So reading thru the H.F. book, she is quoted throughout about her work and process. Everything she talks about I can connect to - not to say I am always reaching that perfect zen place - but I know of it and strive to connect deeper to that place as I grow as a painter. She doesn't get very intellectual about her work and she sees no need to do so - it isn't what it's about. She is a painter of feelings and impressions, dreams and visions, rather than intellectual statements, solid and firm. She talks more about the intuitive process, taking risks, never getting too comfortable with familiar patterns or choices. Working until it works for YOU as the creator, and yes, that is enough to say a work is finished.

The more esoteric writing on Helen's work was quoted from a variety of sources - critics, curators, high profile friends and alliances, and a biographer. I felt so connected to her story until this part. The part where gallery shows, connections, oh why not come out and say it, FAME comes into the picture... in the art sense of the word. Obviously it was Jackson that made the cover of Life magazine, not Helen, but still, she is KNOWN all over the world.

I bring this all up because it got me wondering about all of us choosing to go our own way selling online instead of or alongside showing in galleries. I see the journey many of us are on as a new course and no one among us knows where it will lead us. There are artists that have been selling online for years, making a living from it, and never, or rarely show in galleries. Of course, most of us juggle a little of both, but I seem to see a trend of two seperate worlds going on. There is the art scene still happening from high society circles and art schools to galleries and there is the art scene happening in the "streets" - only the streets are now the lines of communication we have through these glowing boxes we spend so much time in front of (but thank goodness for them, seriously). I know there are a lot of real, good people who didn't buy their way into art fame - they earned it. But this path we chose is different.

I think it's saying...

I am declaring that this is what I want to do. I'm going to put myself and what I have to offer right now out there for anyone to take, and if you do, I will learn from it, and if you don't, I will learen from it. Either way, I'm still going to be an artist.

Rather than fighting to get noticed by a very limited and focused spotlight, we put ourselves out there for the masses to decide. Not a curator, or a panel of judges - our fellow folks out there that will or won't like your art but they won't know unless they SEE IT. Right?

Ok. I'll get off my paint splattered step ladder now.

I really wasn't preaching, just thinking out loud as I usually do. In circles. As I usually do.

--------------

Fame has been on my mind a lot lately. Because I am finally deconstructing it and seeing it for what it is and realizing that it isn't what I want or should be going for. I have humbly said "who me?" haha and blushed but man, I've thought about it, let's be honest. I've been aware of famous people in music, films, art, books, everything since the get go. I remember those names, I know more about celebrities than I care to admit. I'd like to say I memorized classic poetry when I was young - I didn't, I memorized every line to A Room With A View and the lyrics of popular music... .don't ask me why. I was into fame as a kid, then into an alternative version of it as a young adult (the ins and outs of dankster musicians from A to Z,,,,oy) and now at 30 when I see someone who is younger than me and very "successful" (ie has the spotlight) there is jealousy. I spot it and now I'm doing all I can to break it down and walk over it's remains. I don't want that shit. I don't want to envy every young person that gets noticed for their talent. That's something someone else did for my whole life, and I don't want to repeat it. That's why I need to examine this idea of creative success. Is it being in a magazine or a tv show or a high profile gallery? It could be, but is it for me? That's what I've been asking.... and asking.

What do I really want?

I know that things will happen whether I make a choice or not. But there is a lot one can do when one is focused, and this wish washy vague understanding of "I just want to make art" isn't enough anymore. What do I want to accomplish with my art? What do I want for myself and my family, and what goals do I need to set in motion to accomplish these things? What is my PURPOSE?????

Life will happen one way or another, the question is, do I have an answer?

Let's Go Etsy!

Enthusiasm In Motion - Original painting and archival prints available at www.livefunky.etsy.com


I had a productive day today. Every day I wake up I want the sort of energy I had today. The go get 'em, multi tasking, devouring of work from when I wake till I can't see straight attitude that either creates a great painting day, or a great marketing day.

Today was a marketing day. I listed so much on Etsy. I know it's best to space it out but when I'm actually inspired to attack my Etsy store I've got to ride that wave until it fades away. When I can get into and enjoy that part of my "job" I like to get as much accomplished as possible because tomorrow I could wake up and only want to paint. And that can stick for a week.

Considering I haven't gotten into a real painting spell (I am in a studio transition at the moment) I hope I have another day like today tomorrow. And maybe I can finally get to redesigning my website.... hmmm we shall see...

Until then, hope all is well!

I'm still going to call it Great Woods

Yesterday my best bud Emily and I went to Great Woods (which is now called the Tweeter Center, but I'm sticking with the old and in my book, REAL name of this outdoor venue in MA) to a music festival that included such bands as Wolf Parade, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Modest Mouse, Guster and others. It was a blast. It's been a while since I've been to a big show like that and we had a great time. Love you lady and thanks for making this happen!! xoxo

PS - Tweeter Center - you need to chill a little with your security. We got checked for our IDs at random just walking around (yes, after you're already checked when you buy a beer) and we're both 30. If you want to do something to protect people from drinking too much, pay a little more attention to the teenagers boozing it up in the parking lot not two responsible adults just walking around with a beer we paid eight bucks for. Other than that, thanks for a good time, Tweeter - I mean Great Woods.

Woo Hoo!

We got our permits ladies and gents. All systems are go!

I was just starting to create plan C when we got the letter in the mail. I am so happy. Thanks for all those crossed fingers!

Alexandra Svoboda

WARNING: The link below has a disturbing photograph, so if you are of the faint of heart or a child is nearby, do not click on this link.
http://jonathanmcintosh.smugmug.com/gallery/3293537/1/182920989/Medium

For an article about this without a graphic image, you can go here..http://www.projo.com/ri/northprovidence/content/workers_march_08-17-07_C06P9TH.31db510.html

all we are saying
is give peace a chance

This is ridiculous. A sweet young girl peacefully marching gets beaten and her leg nearly ripped off of her body. I pray for her recovery. I also pray that this story will not be lost or forgotten. I am sick of the abuse of power we see everywhere around us.

I'm writing about this here because I can.
Peace.

Riding The Wave

Riding The Wave - print and original painting available at www.livefunky.etsy.com

I've been adding a lot of prints to my shop the last few days. Some are reproductions of my paintings (like this piece) and others are illustrations created with Illustrator.

ALSO! Someone on Etsy posted in the message boards about this site. Click on the orange button that says HELP FEED THE HUNGRY and (from the website) "Your click helps feed the hungry with the value of 1.1 cups of staple food." http://www.thehungersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=1

Fingers Crossed!

Good day, friends! This is the view looking out my kitchen window to the backyard. As you can see, we've got a good amount of woods in the back and that goes down a slope behind the shed. There is a street at the bottom of our property, then across the street there is a large chunk of wooded, undeveloped land... (I so hope it stays that way, but you never know). Anyway, all of this matters because if all goes well (and here is where the title of this post comes in) this will be the location of my new studio! Our neighbor is taking the shed that's there, and in that spot, we are hoping to put a 12 x 28 structure. Like everything in life, obviously you've got to take one step at a time, but yesterday Rob and I did a quick step jump through all the hoops we could to get moving on this.

Let me back track for a moment to say this is an idea that's been in the works for a long time. We have met with a builder and got the high quote we were expecting. We've researched other manufacturers of garden sheds, gazebos, etc. online. After going round and round, we took the drive down the hill LESS THAN A MILE AWAY FROM OUR HOUSE to Klotter Farms. It's hilarious - we must go round and round in circles to figure out we wanted to go with the first choice after all. Anyway, we met with someone that helped us pick out each feature of our structure. For a general idea of what this is going to be, click on this link and look at the top picture. http://www.kloterfarms.com/page.cfm?p=12147 On the left side, we picked out that same screened in porch. On the right side, the building part of it is going to be a little larger - 12 x 16, and it's all maxed out with extra goodies. There is a skylight, two windows on the side, three windows in the back and a sliding glass door to the porch area, and it comes pre-wired for electricity. Since we custom designed the structure, it takes 6 weeks to complete. But first we need to be sure we can get all of our permits for it. We bounced around from office to office yesterday, fill out a form, write a check, hop in the car, repeat. The last office we made in the last ten minutes they were open. The woman said "you've got ten minutes and counting. the office closes at 4:30". Pens were flying! And we made it just in time.

So now we wait....... I think it's 2-3 weeks till we find out. As soon as we get the good news (I'm keeping the positive thoughts going here) we'll get the building started so ideally this is going to take 9 weeks. Of course I'm like "gimme! gimme! NOW!" but good things come to those who wait, so I will be a good little patient girl and wait. tap tap tap tap tap -

I was sitting here daydreaming about painting in the porch area on a crisp autumn day. And all of a sudden I thought, "my Grandmother would love this - I wish she could be there with me on that day...". She passed away when I was ten, but we were very close in those precious years of my life and she taught me how to paint. She was an amazing watercolor and oil painter. And she loved nature. One of my clearest memories of being with her was sitting in lawn chairs on the farm painting with watercolors. It was pure bliss - pure peace. I was spoiled from that day forward to crave recreating that feeling - I want to paint surrounded by peaceful nature.

There are so many reasons why this is going to be great for me, and for our family. That dream of painting with my grandmother, well, she'll be there when my mom (her daughter) and I carry on the tradition, enjoying a beautiful autumn day, the crisp breeze, the speckled sunlight through the brilliant trees. I am crossing my fingers that this picture will serve as a Before shot and that in about 9 weeks I'll have an After that will blow your mind! hahahhaa

peace.

In Memory of Theresa Duncan

Quote from Theresa Duncan's blog The Wit of the Staircase http://theresalduncan.typepad.com/,

That's what an artist is supposed to do. An artist is supposed to be a land-based astronaut. You're supposed to be walking out in front of people, avant garde, reporting back, if you make it.

Two steps forward, one step back, really means one step forward

Mind Machine, originally uploaded by livefunky.

Ok. I admit it. Life does not go in a straight line. Just like art, some pieces of the beginning intentions shine through, others are reworked over and over or wiped out completely.

I opened IllustrationStation.etsy.com a little bit ago for my digital creations. I wanted to keep them separate from my fine art creations at livefunky.etsy.com. Once I got going with it, the more the lines blurred between fine art and digital art - and well, art is art. So I've decided to close IllustrationStation and keep all of my creations in one place - my first shop (hehe and true love) livefunky.

Maybe I'm just a little worried people will think that my multiple interests/mediums means that I'm not focused as an artist. I am always going against that idea in my mind from both angles. One voice says to keep things clean and consistent, the other says "follow your instincts - some artists work that way - be yourself!". As usual, I've got dichotomy working for and against me at all times - hahahahaha

(which actually fits quite well with this image, me thinks...)

Anyway, I thought of "updating" my blog posts (which really means edit out the fact that I jumped into a new shop then backed out of it asap) but why do that? That erases the truth of my journey which has been categorically NOT in a straight line. We learn from our mistakes and we learn from other people's mistakes too. I know a lot of us blogging artists are eager to read other artist's blogs to learn from their lessons.

Yesterday I went through livefunky and edited every listing that mentioned my other shop, and I put all of my IllustrationStation listings in edit mode (besides two in treasury lists - that's what really made me sad I never went with one shop right from the get go :( - mLee - I've gotta say, you said 1 shop only and you were right!!!:)

It's all good. I'm happy to have made the choice and to be following thru with setting things up for a steady future. If I opened a gallery to show my own work, I'd include all of it under one roof. The same should apply to my online gallery.

Carry on.
:) jct

SPT - Zoned Out

Self Portrait Thursday - July 19, 2007, originally uploaded by livefunky.

Hello friends.

This picture is my entry to the flickr group Self Portrait Thursday. I took this using the Fireworks setting on my camera without a flash. I've been experimenting with that setting and the lightwaves I can capture from artificial light. In this case, I turned on our tv and put it on a snowy channel - the computer monitor is captured a little on the right, too.

I call this shot "Zoned Out" because I'm finally back in the zone after a break of a few very OFF weeks. To use a word I've become fond of in the past year, I was feeling quite wonky. Not myself.

After much reaching out and reaching in, I'm out - this baby's back on track! Sometimes you just need to take a big gulp and move on.

"I know it's true. Into each life. Oh, some rain, rain must fall"
Ray Charles - Drown In My Own Tears

I like to paint the world in bright yellow colors that shine with optomism and hope. When all I can see is blue, I panic.

Eventually I stop squeezing my eyes shut and open them again.
And see.
I'm okay

In fact,
I'm stronger

That IS the beauty of life, of age, of the experience of growing as a person. We keep meeting bigger challenges. The universe seems to raise the bar as we go along, and we could give up at any point, but we don't because there is so much to gain from pushing forward. The times that test us will come - that is for sure - but you just have to keep on keepin' on. It's so simple and lame in a way, but it's true.

Now that I'm feeling inspired again, I created a few new prints for both of my Etsy shops.

www.livefunky.etsy.com
www.IllustrationStation.etsy.com

Prints

I just started listing a few prints in my Etsy shop www.livefunky.etsy.com - more coming soon!

Hope everyone has a great weekend :)

New Etsy Shop

Sea Of Faces, originally uploaded by livefunky.

NEW SHOP ON ETSY!!!

www.IllustrationStation.etsy.com

I am excited to announce my new Etsy store called Illustration Station. It focuses on my digital illustrations created with the helping hand of Illustrator. Just to clue others in on what my process is with these images, I begin with a hand drawn sketch, which is scanned and then I add color and tweak the design in Illustrator.

The prints are created from my home with my new fantastic, wide format Epson printer. Epson is the only way to go with art prints, as their archival inks and papers are of superior quality. I am thinking I might create a new blog too, just to document my images as I make them, but we shall see. Painting is something that I am ALWAYS going to do. this project is just sharing a different side of me. I hope you like what you see!

La la la la la! Happy day!!

Sunface Man, originally uploaded by livefunky.

I am super duper double pumped because I just got Illustrator and I'm in looooovvvvveeee!!! There is so much it can do it's almost dizzying but each new trick I discover is awesome! This is my first real image made from a sharpie sketch scanned and digitally painted. Ahhhh the wonders of technology.... so different than painting - the bonus of changing things that you don't get with watercolors (which I usually use with ink). This is just too much fun....

PS - I also got a new printer and I'm going to be offering prints in my Etsy shop SOON!!! Please let me know if there is a certain image of mine that you'd like to see me offer as a print. Thanks!

ACEO Magazine Interview

ACEO Magazine Interview, originally uploaded by livefunky.

www.aceomagazine.com

Spring 2007 ACEO Magazine Cover Artist

Spring 2007 ACEO Magazine Cover Artist, originally uploaded by livefunky.

Here is the front and back of the magazine. (Left is back, right is front). I'm going to post the interview page inside the magazine next...

www.aceomagazine.com

Your Light Goes On And On And On And On

Your Light Goes On And On And On..., originally uploaded by livefunky.

On and On and On
lyrics by the band Wilco
www.wilcoworld.net


On and on and on we’ll stay together yeah
On and on and on we’ll be together yeah
You and I will try to stay together yeah
On and on and on we’ll be together yeah

Please don’t cry we’re designed to die
Don’t deny what’s inside
On and on and on we’ll stay together yeah
On and on and on
On and on and on

One day we’ll disappear together in a dream
However short or long our lives are going to be
I will live in you or you will live in me
Until we disappear together in a dream

Please don’t cry we’re designed to die
You can’t deny even the gentlest tide
On and on and on we’ll be together yeah
On and on and on
On and on and on
We’re going to try

Please don’t cry
This world of words and meanings makes you feel
outside
Something that you feel already
deep inside
You’ve denied
Go ahead and cry

On and on and on we’ll stay together yeah
On and on and on
On and on and on

You and I will stay together yeah
You and I will try to make it better yeah

------------------------------------------------------------

This song may have been written for a lover, but for me, it applies to all forms of loving someone, all relationships and bonds of love, including family and friends. Lyrics are one thing. The music is another. You need to listen to this song to hear all of the other non verbal layers of meaning. I found a live recording on youtube at http://youtube.com/watch?v=vDdiYccIGLE

Together this song and this image can say what I cannot put into words right now exactly, but I'm going to try.

--------------------------------------------------


a message to jack......

blue eyed beauty
you woke with the dawn
ready for a new day
that is your way....

early riser, eager engager of life
you lived to the fullest
and gave even more
that is your way

so shy of praise
humble and proud
sure to be the first to arrive
that is your way

there for your kin as a rock
through winds of change
giving before thinking
that is your way

never asking for much
but wanting the best
for all whom you cared for
that is your way

working through strife
but keeping it together
because you never imagined another way
that is your way

in all ways we'll miss you
in all ways we'll remember you
in all ways we'll love you and thank you for being you


IN LOVING MEMORY OF JOHN (otherwise known as Jack) TORRANT
my wonderful grandpa - i love you so much

Enlightened Journey

Enlightened Journey - original abstract painting by Jessica Torrant, originally uploaded by livefunky.

I finally have a new original to share! Today I went back into this painting, which stayed in it's raw underpainting stage for a few weeks. I just loved what happened in that first layer of expressive washes of paint. Today I came in with a little white to emphasize certain elements, then called it Done before I went too far. I know this piece could have evolved in a number of directions, but when it clicks it clicks - it doesn't matter if takes two hours in or two weeks.

I have just listed this 16" x 20" painting in my Etsy store.
www.livefunky.etsy.com

positive INFLUENCE

i need to speak about this, about this very positive influence i've had watching The U.S. Vs John Lennon. as much as it makes me sick that a human being full of so much love and compassion could be stalked like a dangerous criminal by our very own GVT, it gives me great hope to know such a human being existed....

(i am currently listening to joss stone singing "i had a dream last night - what a lovely dream it was - i dreamed we all were alright - happy in a land of oz - what a lovely dream it was")

the hope continues...

i am in this place that tells me to no longer make apologies. to speak clearly and unafraid. the truth is something that we know but are scared to talk about amongst ourselves. SPEAK IT says the voice and I'll do so through prose rather than preaching. because it is not my intention, to speak out as if i have all answers, or even some..... but my truth.... i won't hide that in pretense. i won't manipulate myself for marketing sake or even to please. i will love forever but in a pursuit of truth, and there is a point when you accept that truth hurts sometimes or not and

i'll be there on the other side

ready to hold you and me and all of our dreams...

ready to begin again.

now i am listening to nina simone and that is why i go so deep - because others have before me. they have gone into the very depths of their souls and turned themselves inside out for all to see - exposed before the world without fear - full of faith that what they are, how they are designed, flaws and raw beauty and all, is intended. and they blow their horn loudly for all to hear. because they know they must.

i am in that place that says "it is time to shed your skin again" and this new phase is me coming from a placid stance overlooking a river to actually stepping forward and dipping my toes in.
in fact, dunking my entire body under the intimidating but ultimately healing waters.

the things i feel in my heart and soul are radical in a way. but not at all. they correspond with what i surround myself with, but to publicly declare "i am such a freaking liberal, you'd might as well add me to "The List"" is a little scary. i am ultimately just a nature loving, good hearted woman, but i can't keep my mouth shut for fear of big brother coming down on me somehow. watching that documentary about lennon refreshed me with the inspiration AND the intimidation of/for speaking your truth. i'm going to pick up the torch and SPEAK even though it's risky.

all we need is love

and

all we are saying is give peace a chance


that is really all i am saying
is that so bad????

A piece of heaven called Hermit Island

I am an island, originally uploaded by livefunky.

Last weekend I spent a fabulous few days with two of my best friends camping on Hermit Island in Maine. Apparently this park is so popular, you need to reserve a spot a year in advance during the "on" season. Luckily, we were several weeks before that time begins, so we had our pick of the litter.

The three of us have our deep connections to the Maine seacoast, so just driving up and seeing the "Welcome to Maine: The Way Life Should Be" sign on 95 had us so excited. We ended up picking an incredible site overlooking a cove. We made a fire, and watched the full moon rise and sparkle on the water. It was magic. The little shop there had lobsters and clams that they boil up for you for a dollar and a half! So we had a feast at our campsite, toasting plastic travel wine glasses and savoring every "fresh out of the ocean" bite. Did I go in the water? Yes I did. I had to honor the Torrant tradition of braving the biting cold Maine waters. It was shocking - but very worth it.

We did some drawings in the sand, and took our time wandering around, soaking in the majestic views. You can see more pictures of our trip at http://www.flickr.com/photos/livefunky/

So... I'm an artist, oh yeah. You'd get the feeling I do nothing but travel and live it up. Well, these days, that's what I've been doing. It's been a non stop run since about this time last year when my husband and I got to get away from it all on our honeymoon. Since then it's been work work work in overdrive. It's been thrilling, but I am welcoming this break right now. And regrouping.

I've got some new ideas about directions I want to take my art, my business, etc, etc. Now is the time to stop and think and work out my plan. I'm taking a break to think but also to rediscover myself and my work. Things are in motion, and it will only be a matter of weeks before I can really get moving in these new directions. It's exciting.

Hope everyone is enjoying this time of year. :)

"I know you're going away this weekend..."

My Beautiful One Eyed Boy, Leonardo, originally uploaded by livefunky.

Here is a picture of my boy this morning. He knows I'm going away. He always knows, even if I don't "tell" him. How do I know? Because any other day he'd be bouncing at my feet, barking to go out and play, go for a ride, a walk, anything! But when I am about to leave for a trip, even if it's just for a couple days, he gets a little solemn and looks up at me with that one, blazing eye. Hits me right in the gut. It's hard to EVER leave! And the next few weekends I/we will be traveling, so I'm going to have to really make it up to him during the week.

Yesterday Leo and I went to visit my cousin who lives on a great country property less than a mile away from where we live. He's got a pretty big pond and Leo LOVES swimming. He did not stop for HOURS. Steve and I sat on the hill and tossed a frisbee which Leo chases then leaps in the air to catch. Whenever he missed, he'd pick up the fris and come back to us to throw it again. If he caught it, he'd reward himself with a dip in the pond. It's insane when you can read the more random thoughts of your pet. They have such personality, as you all know.

I'm going to visit my best friend in Long Island. I never enjoy driving through the city, but I'll brace myself for the white knuckle drive. She's worth it and thensome! It will be nice to get away. It's been a while that I went off and did something on my own. Next weekend is a group trip to Hermit Island in Maine where we will camp and kayak and hike along the awe inspiring coast.... uhhhh yes. Then Rob and I have a wedding out close to the Cape Cod (where we got married last year in June) so we'll probably spend a night on the Cape (off season cheap motels are plentiful!) and soak in some of our favorite spots. It will still be enough off season to not be a mob fest. It's been a year (the wedding/honeymoon) since I had a vacation and I feel like this time right now is vaca time! I have things I need to get done so I can't blow off a whole week, but I'm really making the most of the weekends. How many self employed artists/crafters out there do not stop working over the weekend? Raise your hands. I'd bet every hand in the house is raised right now.

So I hope my ramblings makes you stop and think "yeah, I can take this Sunday off" or "why not take a road trip this weekend?" or even "I'm giving myself three straight, uninterupted hours this weekend to just sit back and enjoy life". Do something fun, or relaxing or anything you need right now. We all need money and can make that an excuse for not doing something fun, but there are plenty of ways to have a lot of fun with very little cash. Just enjoying your own backyard. So many of us work so hard to make our yards look beautiful, but don't stop to really enjoy them. Love and joy and good times wished to you all.....
jt

Good Times!

looking into my studio 5/11 open studios show, Indian Orchard Mills, originally uploaded by livefunky.

Here is a picture looking into my studio on the opening night of the Open Studios show. The weekend (May 11 & 12) was fabulous. Sharing art and laughs with friends, making new friends at the show, then celebrating with my peeps Saturday night for my birthday. The next few days my husband and I got to spend together (a scheduling rarity) so we enjoyed driving around the countryside, ducking out of a rainstorm in Northampton MA for a yummy dinner and pint at the Brewery, and just hanging at home - together. Ahhhh..... so that left me feeling great all week, then this weekend I went down to my college girlfriend's house to celebrate her 30th. Her husband threw a surprise party and it was fabulous. A crew of college friends were in the same room for the first time in years and I couldn't help but think about all of us ten years ago and the contrast of where we all thought we'd be at 30 and where we actually are. it's all good. Our life choices, the new roles and relationships in our lives, it all makes sense. It all fits and yet I could never have dreamed it back then...

I feel so amazing right now. Life is beautiful. I am beyond happy with my life and where it's going. I know that this is my time. I think being born in May made me attached to this time, it brings out the best in me. New Year's Eve is rarely my point of rebirth/transition. This time is my rebirth. New, fresh buds of insight and inspiration, love and compassion, joy in others. Zing!!!!

If only I could bottle this feeling for my winter downer days....

Indian Orchard Mills Open Studios Show - this weekend!

Magic Unfolding
Acrylic on 20" x 20" box canvas, 2007

Looking for something to do this weekend? Come to the Open Studios Spring Exhibition at the Indian Orchard Mills!

Friday May 11, from 6-10 pm
Saturday, May 12 from 12-4 pm

For more information about the show, including directions, please visit www.indianorchardmills.com

Across The Universe

Across The Universe, originally uploaded by livefunky.

Acrylic on 30" x 30" box canvas, 2007
Available at www.livefunky.etsy.com

Melting into a beautiful beyond....

The weather man has nothing to say but SUN

Original ACEO by Jessica Torrant - 3 Faces Merged, originally uploaded by livefunky.

It's outrageous. In the TV land of weather every five minutes, the pros don't have anything to say but blue skies - the end. It's gorgeous out and it's going to stay that way for days.

I am loving life. It's been a beautiful Saturday morning. Bright light streaming in through the windows as I savor my cup of tea and paint some ACEOs that I drew about a month ago. (This is one of them). I'll often just do a batch of ink drawings that will sit around for a bit before I come in with watercolor. I'm glad I got up early to do a little painting before I head out to go to the chili festival later this afternoon. It's an annual event at the four town fairgrounds one town over - yee haw! It's always a good time. I love food, local yocal fairs, sunny days and beer. It'll all be there. Plus I'll be in the good company of my aunt and her husband. I'll bring my camera and try to take some pics to share here.

Self Portrait Thursday - May 3, 2007

selfportrait thursday - may 3, 2007, originally uploaded by jtorrant.

This is my first week posting in the flickr group, Self Portrait Thursday. I took this digital picture of myself around 10 pm. The eye on the right was drawn with a sharpie on the back of a business card that I'm holding up to my face. My hair is in it's usual state - knotted on the top of my head in a wacky bun. Obviously, I played with the original photograph, making it black and white and then adding funky filters.

Please post a link in your comment to your self portrait if you also contribute in this group - thanks!

Visit Self Portrait Thursday on flickr to see more self portraits from creative people!

New Paintings

Circles On All Sides IV by Jessica Torrant
Acrylic on 6" x 6" box canvas
Available at www.livefunky.etsy.com

I've been enjoying working on a batch of new box canvases. Instead of painting the sides black, I've been experimenting with extending the painting onto the edges. You can see all of my new works in my Etsy Store.

In other news.....

The OPEN STUDIOS Weekend at the Indian Orchard Mills will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be opening my studio to the public, along with the other fifty plus artists that share the unique space of the renovated mills. Show dates and hours are:

Friday, May 11: Opening Night 6-10 pm
Saturday May 12: 12-4 pm

For more information and directions to the show, please visit www.indianorchardmills.com and click on the Open Studios Art Show banner.


In other news....

I'll be thirty years old on May 12.

Painting up a storm until the sun comes back

Alone Time
original ACEO available at www.livefunky.etsy.com

Guilty as charge - I have neglected my blog. BUT I have been painting a ton and listing all new works on Etsy, so that must count for something, eh? The cold, wet weather we faced for the last week has been instantly erased by some sweet sun shining today - and the weekend is supposed to be even better. I cannot describe how happy I am. Sun and comfortable temps make me feel whole.

I am looking forward to a girl's night tomorrow night. Even more sunshine my way - could I be anymore content right now?

Happy Spring everybody.

2Busy

Ladders In The Light
Mixed media on canvas, 2007

I've got a ton of new paintings and mixed media works over at www.livefunky.etsy.com - can't keep up right now. Hence the title of this post. I would rather rock out to this Chaka Khan I am listening to right now, then go into details, and I am sure you understand. Sometimes we need to just let loose at the end of the day. This isn't the end of day for me, it's midnight, but that should say something about my concept of a "work day".

"I take every little thing I do, give it up, give it all up, for you. I mean every little thing, it's true!..."

Miss Chaka says it all. Finger snapping Jessy, signing out.

New ACEO Series

Celebrating Spring
Acrylic on matboard, 2007

I haven't been able to get to Jerry's Artarama to get new canvases so I've been working on acid free matboard. I inherited tons of matboard when my old boss moved her frame buisness to another location. It's acid free so it makes a great surface to work on, also I like the thickness for ACEOs - makes for a sturdy little card. Anyway, all of these new ACEOs are in my store www.livefunky.etsy.com - while you are there, check out my SALE section with lots of spring cleaning discounts. I've also updated my entire shop to include free shipping worldwide.

(For those who "do Etsy" you can imagine how crossed my eyes were after the two days it took to revise over 200 listings - yowza!)...copy paste copy paste click go ba beep ba boop - not human anymore - must rest but must finish - another - listing - i - sleep now. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Enough blogging - back to work I go. Good day y'all!

The Leo Update

We got this beautiful card, hand painted with love by our dear friend in Georgia, Angela Taylor. It brightened my day so much and it's hanging in our kitchen now. :) Thank you so much, Angela!

To update everyone about Leo, well, he got the stitches out on Thursday and he's been cone collar free since then - happy and healed up and back to living a dog's life. The pictures above are from one of our walks "on the farm". This is up behind my parent's house in a few lots my grandfather rents out to a Christmas tree farmer. The blessing in this is it's a pretty maintenance free crop. Plant them, wait a few years, then selectively cut. It isn't one of those "cut your own" farms. This is just a handful of acres tucked up in the woods. There is never anyone up there. Only a couple times a year will I come across any workers cutting or planting trees. Usually, it's just me and Leo and a visit from the hawks.

I am so happy that Leo is ok. He's still as gorgeous as ever, and our bond is even deeper (if that's even possible). I love that guy so much. I hope good health and happiness is with you and yours, both two legged and four.

Transitions

Elegance
Acrylic on 8" x 10" stretched canvas, 2007

Transitions
Acrylic on 8" x 10" canvas, 2007

Check availability of these paintings at www.livefunky.etsy.com

Spring brings good things

Things are great over here. Lots going on behind the scenes. Working out details, thinking in larger realms... Good stuff. I'll explain and update soon.

In the meantime, check out my other blog, www.lookseesaw.blogspot.com - I've added two new posts, the most recent I am eager to share.

Thanks!

New Paintings

Eternal Embrace
Acrylic on 8" x 10" gallery wrapped canvas, 2007

I Am A Building With Many Rooms
Acrylic on 8" x 10" gallery wrapped canvas, 2007

Connected Growth
Acrylic on 8" x 10" gallery wrapped canvas, 2007

It's been a good day, today. I woke to bright, blue skies and a melted, muddy backyard. Spring is so very much in the air, that my allergies caught on right away. I always forget about that part.... ah, but it's all worth it.

Leo is looking GREAT! It's been one week since we took him home and the progress is so dramatic. Just one more week and his stitches will come out and he'll be my cone-head-free happy little boy again!

Rob being back to work after his vacation means that he's sleeping in again (he works nights). So Leo slept in late with him, giving me some time to paint. These three new pieces are now listed in my Etsy shop at www.livefunky.etsy.com and there are a few more I am working on right now, as well.

Thanks to all of my blogger buddies that have left comments in the last week. Your support and encouragement means so much to me!

Big SALE on Etsy

Window of Opportunity
watercolor, 2007


I am having a big sale at my shop on Etsy. FREE SHIPPING worldwide and Buy One Get One Free on all items over $50. Please visit my store at
www.livefunky.etsy.com

"I've got to admit it's getting better, a little better all the time"

Here's Leo! Our brave and wonderful little/big boy! This picture was taken yesterday. You can see Emily's hand is on his head, Rob is behind him on the computer, and one of Derek Shockey's paintings on the wall on the top right. (visit his website at http://www.artwanted.com/artist.cfm?ArtID=18045 )

This weekend was amazing. It all started on Friday with our drive up to get Leo. It was the thick of the noreaster snowstorm, and 84 was a wreck. We went about 30 the whole way plowing through chunky, icy snow. Once we got to the Mass Pike, the roads were much better (what's up Connecticut? if MA can do it, we should be able to, too!).

Walking back into the animal hospital with excitement and smiles, we were in such a different state of mind than everyone else. We were able to actually look around and take other people in (didn't do that the first time around), and we could feel the anxious energy all around us from the collection of nervous, waiting pet owners. It hung thick in the air, stagnant, everyone glazed over watching the Animal Channel on the TV, and almost resenting the animal bloopers show with canned laughter that seemed to mock their sincere pain and fear. As if owning and loving a pet was that easy and joyful. One goofy moment after another causing laughter and smiles. We all wished.

It took a while for them to get Leo. I felt like I was going to pass out, and kept sucking down big gulps of water at the water fountain, at one point resisting my own animal urge to dunk my head in the cold stream of water and shake it off. When he came out, it was clear he was in a state of shock and confusion. It took a moment for him to realize we were standing there and as soon as he did, all he wanted to do was drive his head into my legs. The assistant had the big, plastic collar off of him to show us how to put it on. After a momentary struggle including all four of us, we got it on, and walked out the door with our love. He got in the backseat and we wanted to just sit and pet him but the storm had picked up and we had to get back on the road as soon as possible.

Rob was superman getting us home that evening. I kept turning around to nurture Leo, and every time I turned back to the road, there was another car off the side of the highway, or spun around backwards, or being hauled off by a tow truck, crunched. Along the way, Emily sent a text message that she was on her way up. We were thinking, 'oh no, don't come!', but she was already halfway there.

We got home and spent the next few hours petting and loving our Leo, and trying not to freak out about every hour that passed with no Emily. She finally arrived around 10:30. It took her four hours to get from southern CT to our house. That was one nasty storm none of us should have been driving through!

Once she arrived it was the last thing to fret about on a check list of worries we've had for the last week. The rest of the weekend felt so amazing to have everyone safe and sound. Total homebody weekend, including lots of love, good food and wine, Trivial Pursuit, drawing, movies, talking, all the while petting our little sweetie.

Leo seemed to be in a lingering state of shock at first, and paired with natural exhaustion, which could also be affected by his meds, he's been hanging low. Lots of rest. Today I saw some of the Leo pep I'm used to, and it was very comforting to see. He's doing what he needs to do - rest and HEAL. I'm happy that he isn't resisting that, and in turn, the scar seems to be healing very quickly. Most of the swelling has gone down, and knock on wood, everything looks ok. I called my vet in Enfield today to thank them/her for expiditing the situation. My deepest thanks go to Amelia at the Enfield Animal Hospital here in CT, and Dr. Jurk up at Tufts. Thank you so very, very much.

I'll share a picture of Leo's full face once more healing has happened. He is a beautiful boy and is very proud too! In the picture above, you can see why his new nickname is Bright Eye.

My sweet Leonardo

Well, you may have noticed no new art or blogging this week. It's been a rollercoaster, for sure. But before I go into the details, let me say that as I type this, I am feeling good, so though this will be a sad story, it does have a happy ending.

Leonardo, or Leo as we call him, was born February 6, 2003. At that time I was living with my best friend Emily in my house in CT, and dating my now husband, Rob. Emily and I agreed to dogsit our friend's big, black lab named Moose for a week. It was a week of fun walks, tossing a slimey tennis ball around, and Moose going back and forth between our beds at night. We were both in love.

The day Moose's mommy came to pick him up, I bought a newspaper to look for a dog. It was crazy impulsive, but it was like all of a sudden I just couldn't wait anymore. I knew it was only a matter of time before I got my first dog, and having Moose proved that I could do it. I wanted a male yellow lab, and when I opened the classifieds, there was an ad for just that. I called the number and was told they had one puppy left and it was a first come, first serve sort of deal. Emily and I hopped in the car and drove to their house ASAP.

When we got there, we saw a whole bundle of adorable pups, playing outside on the deck. The family was very nice, and their kids clearly loved each pup dearly. I didn't know which one was the one for me, since many were claimed but yet to be picked up. And then I saw him. My first glimpse, my breath is taken away, and I know, he's the One. A little ball of silky, yellow fur and brilliant blue eyes came running full speed towards me, plowing into and over my lap. A bundle of pure joy and enthusiasm. Shortly after, they pointed out that he was indeed the one available, and by then I was already sold. We drove home with little Leo wiggling all around Emily's car giggling, overjoyed with our new member of "the family".

At first, it was a bit grueling, I won't lie. I grew up with labs, one of which had two litters of puppies, so I was used to all the normal puppy antics. Little steaming puddles and piles for a few weeks until housebroken. Destroyed shoes, furniture, and anything else that matters to you. Leo was quick to be housebroken, but all the destructive tendencies were through the roof. I was told I should kennel train him, which went against all of my instincts and experiences, but I did give it a shot at first. I purchased a huge, supposedly indestructable one that was made out of sturdy material rather than metal. He brought that expensive thing down in a matter of minutes, standing proudly outside of it, tearing at the fallen walls. He was constantly on the go, and for the first month I was sleeping on the couch in the living room with him so we'd be closer to the door for the frequent potty breaks. I remember him finally falling asleep on or beside me, then I would crash and he'd wake me up every hour chewing on my hands. He loved to use those chompers.

One day we came home to the top half cushion of our couch ripped wide open, with white, fluffy stuffing spewed all over the house. Another time he chomped down on a little piece of linoleum and yanked it up, eventually tearing off half of the kitchen floor. He had so much energy and was obviously used to rough housing with his siblings, that he often turned on me with those sharp little teeth. I got my share of cuts and bruises during that time, but it was all worth it. All of it.

As Leo got older, he got bigger, and bigger, and bigger still. But the puppy in him was going nowhere. Now all that energy was packed into a 80 lb and growing monster - flying into my lap full speed was a whole new experience. He stopped attacking me, which was fabulous, and began to use "his voice" more to tell me his thoughts - every thought. WOOF let's go outside, WOOF where is my stick?, WOOF stand up and do something!, WOOF someone opened their car door three houses down! Yes, he is a chatty one, for sure.

But really, he just wants a few simple things and he's happy. He wants to be free and run, and he wants to be around his people. Oh yes, and food. My parent's labs were roamers, but Leo's always been a trustable fellow to stay by your side. I feel so lucky that we have my parent's house 6 miles away with acres of open fields and forest to wander sans leash. There is also a hiking trail on a dirt road closer to where I live that we go, which is beautiful, and we usually have the whole woods to ourselves. Our daily walks are the best medicine for both of us. He has an enormous smile on his face as he bounds around, peeing on everything, and chasing and retrieving sticks. He can find that stick anywhere, he has one powerful nose. We walk and I take in the peaceful views and feed off of his joy, and I know it's time to turn around when his prance gets a little wobbly.

Leo is absolutely a member of the family. We may be a little unorthodox in the way we include him, for instance sleeping in our bed. Two tall humans and one 100 lb dog fills up a queen size bed pretty quick. Every morning he comes up from my feet to my side, lays down and we have a solid 15 minutes of snuggle time. Our ritual comes to an end when he's decided he's had enough and it's time to get up. At four years old now, he's calmed down a lot, and has matured to being one fine gentleman. He's amazing with my husband's kids, so protective and gentle. He's also great with my mom, and is sensitive to her challenges as well. He's a good boy, but there is no hiding the energetic pup within, and I absolutely love that about him.

So..... that brings me back to today. I didn't plan on telling the full story of Leo but that's what happened and I'm glad I did. It's long but worth sharing for all those dog lovers out there that know each animal has their own personality, and to tell you about what's happening for him, for us, right now, wouldn't be complete if you didn't know more about who he really is. Gulp. Here we go.

We found out Leo had a tumor in his left eye. This was all very sudden and out of the blue. He went for a walk with his best buddy, my aunt's terrier Spooky, and as usual they fully pooped themselves out on the farm. Everything was fine that night, he was passed out sleeping, but that's par for the course. In the middle of the night, I woke up and he followed me into the bathroom. His left eye was closed, and in his half asleep stance, I didn't think much of it. Plus, the light was shining on that side. Anyway, I woke up to him, right by my side like as always, and saw that his left eye was still closed, and he was pawing at it. I called the vet right away and they said to come right in.

Meanwhile, this was the first day of Rob's vacation. He took this week off to just get some R & R (he works nights, it's a rough schedule) and do some work around our house. Thank God he did take this week off because I don't know how I could have gone through all of this without him... back to the story.

So we thought it was pink eye or something, but our local vet saw it and said "ok, this is really bad, I don't know which kind of bad, but it's bad". That was the first belly punch of the day. She looked at his eye with magnifying glasses and described what she saw. She thought that something had punctured his eye and there could still be a foreign object in there. She said he still had vision in that eye, but we needed to see an optomologist ASAP to check it all out. They called up to Tufts in MA and told them about us, we were set to go right away.

We drove up to MA talking about it, and I was typically optomistic. Leo was happy, ears flapping in the breeze in the back seat. It was a beautiful day, and as a little family, we were enjoying it together. I wasn't nervous until I walked in the door of the animal hospital. It wasn't long before they examined him and we waited outside for the assistant to retrieve us. She called us in and we met the doctor. I could just tell from the way the assistant talked to us that this wasn't good, and the way the doctor sat and his other assistant stood to the side. They were prepared. Good news comes naturally, people carry themselves different when they have good news. Bad news makes them stiffen up. I could feel it in the air before he said the words "tumor" "cancer" "operate" "remove".....

There it was, layed out for us, our options were down to one, remove his eye. Leo was in the room with us as we got the news and I hated that he had to feel our sadness and hear our terrified, cracking voices asking mumble jumbled questions that didn't come out right. We were speaking Shock English and thankfully the doc was able to translate.

We looked at pictures of dogs that have lost their eye, and it was comforting to see each animal's personality still fully present, one eye and all. We were given the option of a prostetic that would go under the eyelid, but chose not to because they can lead to future infections and problems. Screw that. Who cares if it's a little sunken in? It's my boy's life that I care about. I saw a golden retriever that didn't have the prosthetic and he looked sweet as pie, so I know Leo will too. It's just a little, tenderoni closed eye.

We left him with the kind hearted, sympathetic assistants, after they gave us some alone time with him. From there on it was a blur of emotion and fear.... Not good.

Cancer to me means an unstoppable force that takes over everything. That's what it's done to the people in my life I've loved and lost to it. I was so scared that it had progressed. The doc told us the tumor was very large, that's why they couldn't do just a simple lasor surgery. Uh, the fears were overwhelming. But skipping to the good part, he is free and clear! They did bloodwork, and he's ok. Fuck you, cancer, the good guys won this time!!!!!!!! Yeee haawwww!!!

Leo had his operation yesterday. Last night was a celebration of the good news that he had made it through the operation, everything went as planned, and was resting. I woke to a phone call this morning saying he's ready to be picked up today. They open their doors at 4.

So is it terribly sad that my little love lost his eye? Yes. But I am overjoyed because he's coming HOME and he's going to LIVE many many years of a happy life! I feel so thankful and I know his recovery time will be hard, but we're ready for him. And, though it makes our travels harder, it's snowing, and snow is one of the top things on Leo's love list.

I was a wreck yesterday waiting for the results, and spent hours online researching things and writing to friends. I'd like to thank Angela, Sacred Earth, Crow and Redgirl, Emily, Janet, Jessica and my parents for being there for me, Leo and Rob. I'd also like to thank the creator of this website that I found that was the best medicine possible - a hearty laugh.

Check out CHOMPO the one eyed wonder dog and her amazing tales at www.chompo.com - Chompo lightened my heart and mind yesterday. Thank you Chompo.

Leo is a special guy, he really is. Now he is going to have even more of an impact on the people he meets. "Look at me! Sure, I've only got one eye, but I LOVE LIFE! Let's run! Let's play! Let's smile and love one another! Life is good!".

Thanks for bearing through my long winded tale. I'll be updating you all soon. :)

New Blog

Check out my newest creation, Look See Saw, a blog dedicated to all of the fabulous things, people and creations I find online! I just added my first artist interview. www.lookseesaw.blogspot.com

ACEO Magazine

With great excitement, I can announce this evening that I will be the cover artist for the spring issue of ACEO Magazine! Check out the link here:
http://aceomagazine.com/page3.html